Emily Ayn “Randy” Guadelupe Clayton (MS)

Rest in peace

Survived by her hot mother, hot father, unidentifiable rodent, and 370 of her favorite pornstars

Gone but not forgotten

We are all saddened to see that Emily (MS) has been taken from us far too soon. This ray of sunshine was always willing to brighten anyone’s day, and be a shoulder to lean on. Never afraid of being tied down, she formed tight bonds with her friends and family, and was always ready for her next adventure. As always in this time in grief, her mother is encouraged to reach out to Owen D’Elia. May God bless you all.

Loved ones will be able to pay their respects at a small ceremony before Emily (MS)'s remains are transported via cannon to a region of Illinois otherwise unreachable by land, sea, or air. At least it isn't Hamilton. In lieu of flowers, we ask that you donate to her favorite charity. Please see her will for her last wishes on this earth.